Gilbert Beilschmidt's Day Off
by 78meg9
Summary: It's time for the mandatory Senior Skip Day, and Gilbert is not to be outdone. With the help of his two best friends, he's going to make it the best day ever, and no one is going to able to stop him. Just pray the town's ready for it. (A Bad Touch Trio fanfic based on Ferris Bueller's Day Off, because we all know we need one.)
1. Skipping School

**Well well well! Fanfiction, we meet again. This is the Bad Touch Trio story I've been working on for ages, and I'm happy to say I've got a lot done! And this time it's based on Ferris Bueller's Day Off (obviously!)**

 **Just a few notes:**

 **Antonio's mom is Ms. Carriedo because she never married. He is Fernadez-Carriedo because even though she wants nothing to do with the guy, she wanted her son to know who his father is.**

 **Anything not in English is in Italics. They're pretty self explanatory. But not to be confused with things like thoughts, or words I wanted to empathize.**

 **The class computer genius is Estonia**

 **I freaking love this movie. It's such a thing these three would do.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

"Gilbert? Gilbert it is time for school! I told you to get up an hour ago."

Louise Beilschmidt, proud mother of both a respectful little boy and the town delinquent, tapped her foot three times before she began to climb the stairs. If Gilbert did not meet her at the top, he had best be dying or already on his way to school. She would take no less.

When she reached the hallwa, loud coughing stopped her in her tracks.

Hearing his mother outside his door, Gilbert rolled over, clutching at his midsection. "Mutter" He whimpered as pitifully as possible. "My stomach hurts"

Louise walked inside the room, and sure enough, there was Gilbert, lying in a pitiful mess of blankets and used tissues. She carefully picked her way toward his bed. "Gilbert?"

"Wha-? _Mutter_ , I can't hear you. Your voice is so far away."

"I asked if you were alright." Louise ran her fingers through her son's hair in a soothing gesture, before recoiling. His forehead was burning hot. "You're hot to the touch!"

"It might be a fever" Gilbert supplied. He sneezed once, sending his mother to her feet and away from the flying mucus.

"That's it, you're staying home." Louise decided. "I'll call the school to tell them you're sick, alright?"

Gilbert cracked open an eye, surveying his mother's worried expression. "Alright. You'll take care if me, won't you Mutter?" Just to be on the safe side, he launched into a fake coughing fit.

Stroking his forehead, Louise whispered, "You know I can't darling. I have work." She had a conference that day that simply couldn't be missed. And after a moment of internal debate, she added, "Would you be alright to stay by yourself?"

Gilbert attempted a weak smile. "If I have to. Your work is truly important to this family"

"Alright dear," Louise started. "If you're sure. I'll be at the downtown office today, so please call if you need anything-"

"You can not be serious"

Both Gilbert and his mother looked up as Ludwig stood in the door, his arms crossed and an exasperated look on his face. "He can't possibly be sick Mutter, I saw him downstairs this morning and he was perfectly fine."

Louise looked at on her youngest son. Before she could say anything, Gilbert spoke up. "Ludwig? Is that you? I can't see- oh! My head!" He collapsed back onto his pillow with dramatics stolen from his friend Francis. "Come close, I wish to feel your exasperated gaze once more before my untimely death"

Ludwig looked at his mother, trying the convey his irritation without outright saying it. Louise sighed, standing up. "Ludwig will bring home any assignments you miss."

"But Mutter-" The blond tried to protest.

"Just leave it, Ludwig. Your brother is not feeling well today. If you hurry, I can drop you off before work."

Ludwig started to say something but thought better of it. He shuffled out into the hall. Louise turned to her son, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "I'll be home by six. Hopefully you will feel better by then. _Auf weiderson_ sweetheart."

" _Auf weiderson_ " he whispered back.

Once the door to his bedroom closed, Gilbert jumped to his feet. It worked! He honestly could not believe he could get away with such piss poor acting but low and behold, here he was with a free stay at home pass. Well, provided he was going to stay at home. Which was laughable really.

Picking up the phone, he dialed the one person who he knew would be at home as well.

"'Ello, you have reached Francis Bonnefoy. I am currently not available at the moment, but if you wish to have a good time, please leave your name and legal age and I will call you back. If this is Gilbert, the answer is no. _Au revior_ "

Annoyed, Gilbert dialed his number again. And was once more greeted by the answering machine. He narrowed his eyes, deep in thought. Finally he dialed once more.

"Hi!" He chirped in the highest pitched voice he could manage. "This is, uh, Tiffany! And I'm like, almost sixteen, and looking for a real good time~"

He didn't even have time to set down the phone before it rang.

"Gilbert" Francis started. "What could you possibly have in mind this time?"

"How'd you know it was me?" Gilbert demanded, irritated he had thrown his dignity away for nothing.

"I have caller I.D. And the legal age is eighteen, not sixteen."

"Whatever" Gilbert replied. "Get out of bed and pick me up. We're going to have fun today whether you want to or not."

Francis groaned over the phone. "Can't you just drive your self, _mon ami_? You can go and be stupid all you want as long as I stay out of it. Unlike you, I really am sick."

Gilbert scoffed. "No you're not, you pansy. You get 'sick' the same week every year. I know you're upset and all but you need to snap out of this ridiculous self enacted funk. And having a goddamn blast is just the way to do it. Besides, I've got a month before I can drive remember? So get off your lazy ass and get over here!"

Francis had one last groan of disapproval, and hung up with a loud beep.

Confident he would get there soon, Gilbert set about making all the necessary sick day preparations. He sent a text to the class computer genius to make sure his ten absences would be brought down to three. After checking to see if his mother's car had left the driveway -it had-, he cranked up the music. A recording of his own invention began to play as the albino rocked around his room.

" _MIEN GOTT_!" He screamed as the chorus came around once more. The broom in his hand crashed into the dresser as the guitar solo began.

The deafening noise continued on for a while before Gilbert flopped onto his bed. He turned the music down low enough for max concentration but loud enough to still hear. Feeling around under the mattress, he withdrew his going-to-be-published-when-famous, 100% awesome filled diary.

 _Dear AD,_ he wrote. _Awesome Diary, in case you had forgotten your name. This very moment kicks off the most epic day in the history of epic days. We are going to go down as the greatest students to ever grace the halls of this school. My name will be whispered for years to come. I will never truly be forgotten, pushing the entirety of volume three out of existence. Sorry to have to burn part of you, but I only do what has to be done. Today, we evade administration for one last time- and become legends. Not like the awesome me will need it, but wish me luck_

Snapping the book shut, Gilbert slid it back to its hiding place and sat up. He fooled around for thirty minutes more before checking out the window again. Was Francis really not here yet? They had to break out Antonio out from school, there was no time for moping. Not to mention he really needed a ride.

For whatever reason though, the Frenchman really needed some extra shove to get a move on this year. Last year it only took sneaking some fine wine from his parent's under-lock-and-key wine cellar. Now what was he going to use as bait?

Whipping out his cellphone, Gilbert rang up his friend. The second a click indicated he was on the line, he tossed in his first bribe.

"Ludwig's private porn stash"

On the other end of the line, Francis rolled his eyes. "Already seen it. I own more than half myself and dogs are not a personal favorite. I'm more a cat person really"

"Nudes"

"Of who?"

"Choose"

"You"

"No way. Antonio?"

"Been there, done that. We used to bath together as _bébés_. You must be more creative"

Gilbert groaned. This was getting no where fast. "A renewed membership to The Yaoi club"

A sharp intake of breath indicated peaked interest. "You said you couldn't get me back in"

"I lied"

Well, he kind of did. Elizabeta was adamant in not letting Francis return after the latest incident. But she _must_ of calmed down by now, and Ludwig's connections to the co-president, Kiku, should warrant enough for a day pass. Knowing Francis, he would get kicked out again before the end of the first meeting so it would all work out.

The offer was left debated over for a minute before Francis agreed. Gilbert smirked over the phone. "Glad you came to your senses. Come in faster than ten minutes, we've gotta get started before second period.

[=]

"I don't understand why I have to be the one to call" Francis argued.

Gilbert continued to push him toward the wall phone, urging him on. "You have to. He'll recognize my phone number and my voice even faster than that. You're the only option, as much as it pains me to say that." The two stood in the kitchen of the Bonnefoy's family mansion, surrounded by fancy, unused kitchen ware. Thankfully, the cook had the day off, as otherwise they'd be done before they started.

"Who cares?" Francis asked, twisting in and out of his friend's grip. "Let's just not do this at all-"

"It's ringing"

Francis nearly dropped the phone in retreat, but Gilbert had grabbed him by the collar and had Francis pulled away, his very expensive shirt would be stretched. He would rather face administration than that.

The phone rang and rang. It felt like a time bomb to Francis. Finally, the very pleasant voice of the very pleasant Miss Katyusha Braginski answered. "Hello?"

Francis twirled the phone cord around his fingers. " _H_ _ola_! This is Ms. Carriedo, Antonio Fernadez Carriedo's mother."

"Oh, oh yes of course! This is Miss Braginski, the office secretary. Was there anything you still have to discuss with Mr. Edelistien? I apologize for not connecting him right away"

"No no! Nothing of discussion. I'm afraid there's been a death in the family."

Miss Braginski gasped over the line. "Oh no, that is terrible! That must be why your voice is so stopped up, from crying something awful. I hate to say this in such a time of grief, but you almost sound french!"

Francis shot a panicked look toward Gilbert, who in turn raced to find another land line to hear the conversation.

"Ahaha, it seems so!" Francis was really going to have to pay attention to Ms. Carriedo's accent next time she spoke if he was to ever do a good impression of her. "Would you please send Antonie out as soon as possible? I will be by shortly to take him home"

"Of course. I send my condolences Ma'am"

" _Oui_ \- er, _si si_! Much appreciated. _Au revior_!"

The disaster of a phone call was brought to the end as Francis all but slammed down the phone, stepping away as if it was going to ring once more. Gilbert hung up his line, letting out a low whistle as phrase two of his plan began to take shape in his mind. "Francis, we're going to need a dress, two melons, and a fancy ass car"

Francis looked at his friend in dismay, but Gilbert had already disappeared.

As it turned out, there were no melons anywhere in the house. Francis surveyed the fridge to find something that would work as convincing breasts. "We can't use grapes" He decided.

"Why not?" Gilbert demanded. He reappeared from the master bedroom with one of Mrs. Bonnefoy's designer dresses. It was red, which he thought was close enough to something Antonio's mom wore. Despite the fact, of course, it seemed way too fancy for how she always dressed. It wasn't like Antonio's family was rolling in money like the Bonnefoy's.

Francis continued to poke around the fridge. "Excuse me, but I think it's rather insulting to substitute Ms. Carriedo's rack with pre-made wine."

The albino dropped the dress on the counter. "That's why I said melons! I mean we've gotta give credit to where credit is due"

"Grapefruits then?"

"No no no. Watermelons?"

"Are you out of your mind?!" Francis demanded, shutting the refrigerator. "There's no way I could hold two watermelons to my chest!"

"I could." Gilbert challenged.

"Oh really? Let's see it then." Francis handed over his mother's red dress, ignoring his friend's smug look.

Gilbert quickly got to stripping, making sure to leave his boxers on (much to Francis' disappointment). After struggling to slip the obviously female designed dress over his masculine hips, he undid the side zipper and slipped in the watermelons.

As he admired his reflection in the fridge, Francis sized him up.

"Not bad for, well, you. I'll go get the car, _Ms. Carriedo_."

"Wait!" Gilbert called, realizing he had been set up. "I'm not going to be her! You are! Get back here!"

But Francis merely danced away, cackling his little french laugh all the while.


	2. City Life

**Would you look at me posting so soon! As promised, another installment. (Forgot to mention, but I don't own Hetalia!)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Meanwhile, at Gauken High (nicknamed prison by its day time inhabitants), Roderich Edielstien, head of administration, was stewing.

He had been sitting calmly at his desk, going through the list of student's and their absences to fill out some forms, when all of the sudden Gilbert Beilschmidt's whopping ten absences began to tick down to three.

Roderich wasn't stupid. That child had tried to pull a fast one on him. After calling his teacher to inquire whether of not he was in class (he wasn't), he was seething.

"Miss Braginski!" Roderich bellowed. The blonde woman popped her head into his office. "Did anyone from the Beilschmidt residence call today?"

"Oh yes" Katyusha said, nodding enthusiastically. "Mrs. Beilschmidt called earlier to say Gilbert was awfully sick"

The anger dissipated. "Oh, well then-"

"But then the strangest thing happened! Ms. Carriedo called not a moment after saying there was a death in the family and that Antonio was to be sent home immediately. But that wasn't the odd part. They both sounded so upset, and, oh gosh, I don't know. They sounded french!"

Roderich could feel a full on aneurism coming on. He tried to avoid grinding his teeth in fury. It was those three _idiots_ , at it again! "I can not believe that insolent brat!" He ranted to no one in particular. "Changing his absences, skipping classes- lying to my secretary! When I get my hands on him I'll strangle him until he regains some color in his pigment-less genes-"

"Mr. Edielstien?" Miss Braginski asked, cutting off his rant. "If you insist on making death threats, please try and do so at a lower volume. You are scaring the first years."

Roderich glanced over that the terrified boy standing in the hall. Blushing madly, he resigned to taking a deep breath and sitting at the small piano he kept at the corner of his office for situations like this. "You may go now, Katyusha. I believe this calls for some Chopin" He muttered, beginning to play the soothing melody.

For a moment, all that was left of his anger was soothed away by the rhythmic ups and downs of the scales. Roderich even began to lose why he was angry in the first place. At least, until loud speaker crackled to life.

"Antonio Carriedo? Antonio Fernadez Carriedo? Please come to the front office so that your mother can pick you up. Again, Antonio Fernadez Carriedo, your mother is here to pick you up"

And just like that, all graces and patience that only classical music could bestow upon him vanished. Snapping open bloodshot eyes, Roderich hastily made his way from the bench. So it seemed there would be a chance to intercept the school's trouble maker. And this, Roderich promised himself, would be the final time Gilbert decided he was too cool and too big of a man to respect authority.

Knocking over stray students and wayward teachers, Roderich was just able to catch up to Antonio in the hall.

"Mr. Carriedo! You will stop this very moment."

Antonio stopped, looking this way and that. Roderich sighed. "Over here, behind you."

"Oh!" Antonio smiled. "Coming to see me off?"

"Er, yes. I have some unfinished business with your mother. I figured now would be the best time."

The boy nodded. "I hope you do reconsider my grade in math. I really need to graduate on time."

Roderich paused. That was right, he actually did have to discuss with Ms. Carriedo about her son's D to F ratio. But now was not the time. He started walking again, Antonio trailing behind. By the time they both made it to the front of the school, a bright red car and a smirking Ms. Carriedo was waiting for them. But neither made it past the door.

She looked horrific.

Tall heels had her wobbling from left to right, despite standing still. Her red designer dress showed off her hairy, masculine legs in a way hairy, masculine legs should not be showed off. Perhaps the worst part though was that her bulging chest jutted out in an almost painful way, tearing the front of the red satin and scaring the occasionally passing child. Even Miss Braginski, who was watching from the window, winced.

"Madre?" Antonio whispered, horrified.

Roderich's face slackened. "What happened to her... you know..." He stammered. "You know what, nevermind! I, uh... please tell your mother that I will call and discuss whatever I have to later. Over the phone." Roderich high tailed it back into the building, calling a quick, "Have a nice day, Antonio" over his shoulder.

Across the parking lot, 'Ms. Carriedo' waved her son over. Antonio refused to move.

Sighing, she removed her large, red sunhat that blocked at least half her face. "God Antonio, stop looking so freaked out. It's just me"

"Gilbert?" Antonio whispered, still on the side of horrified.

Gilbert grinned. "The one and only! Come one, we're hitting the town."

Relaxing upon realizing that it was just his friend and that his mother was probably safe and sound at home, Antonio quickly trotted up to the car and tossed his stuff in the back. But just before he climbed in, he stopped.

"Hey, wait" He said. "Francis, is this your new car?"

Francis, who had been slunk low in his seat, peeked up over the dash board. "It is" He confirmed. "Though my birthday is two months from now, my parents forgot and gave it to me early."

"Hey" Gilbert said, dropping into the driver's seat. "At least you get a car. You could be me, getting a stupid diary that you don't even use."

"Uh huh" Francis scoffed. "Then what do you keep hidden under your bed?"

Gilbert rolled his eyes like the question was the stupidest he had ever heard. "That's a journal; it's different"

"A journal called 'Awesome Diary?'" Antonio asked.

"Wha- how do you know about AD's top secret name?" Gilbert demanded.

"Me and Francis were looking at it last time we slept over."

"You little shits!" Gilbert looked ready to kill. Neither of the little shits in question reacted to his display, with Antonio climbing into the car's backseat and Francis putting on his sunglasses and fixing up his hair. After a few minutes of Gilbert's fuming, Francis leaned over to him.

"Are we going to leave before or after Roderich realizes we've dupped him again?"

Gilbert growled, but hopped into the passenger's seat. "Oh please" He said. "Roderich won't notice anything."

[=]

The plan was to head into the big city and waste away the day until six, when all three were expected to be back home, safe and sound.

"I should call my mom" Antonio said, his words being eaten by the wind before either of his friends could hear him.

"What?" Francis yelled. "I can't hear you!"

"I said I should call my mom!" Antonio shouted.

"WHAT?"

"I SHOULD CALL MY MOM"

"No way dude!" Gilbert interrupted. "You'll get us caught!"

"But she thinks I'm at school! What if we all die and she doesn't know?"

"We are no going to die" Gilbert patted Antonio's head, conveniently placed between the two front seats so he could be heard better. "And if we do, eh so what?"

"That isn't very reassuring"

Francis checked the rear view mirror, before noticing a patrol car and slowing down. "Yeah Gilbert, way to make us all feel better. Listen Antonie, just call her around three. Say you're staying late for math help."

"Huh" Antonio grinned. "That works! So where are we headed to now, _amigos_?"

"I'm thinking Main Street" Francis said, pointedly ignoring Gilbert's groaning. "I need new clothes and what a better time to buy them than when I'm with the two people in this world who think fashion is akin to the death sentence?"

"At least not Main Street!" Gilbert pleaded. "Nobody but you has money to buy things there"

Francis shrugged. "Well since I'm driving, we're going to Main Street. Just window shop if you can't find it in yourself to get good taste." He turned off the highway and coasted into the city limits. "Now help me find somewhere to park."

It took awhile to find a parking spot that didn't threaten to tow, but eventually they did. Gilbert reluctantly trailed his two friends inside the nearest store with a French name he couldn't pronounce. Francis immediately disappeared into the racks of overpriced shirts. "Now what?" Gilbert asked, poking Antonio in the side.

"I don't know. Look at the clothes I guess?"

Gilbert reached for the nearest price tag. "Two hundred and fifty dollars"

Antonio gasped. "No way"

"Way"

"I bet I find something worth five hundred dollars"

"Um, excuse you" Gilbert challenged. "I bet I could find something worth a thousand dollars."

The two friends stared at each other. "First to find the most expensive item wins" They said at the same time. An all knowing, mischievous look passed between the two and then they were off.

Antonio immediately dove for the shoe section, tearing through the high heels and boots on display. Gilbert on the other hand went for the fur coats and dresses, conveniently placed near each other. The deeper in the section he went, the higher the prices got.

"Two thousand dollars?" Gilbert muttered to himself. "No fucking way." He went to take the baby seal leather floor length coat off the rack, before a voice stopped him.

"Excuse me sir, but if you were planning on stealing, I'm afraid I will have you handcuffed before you take a step."

Gilbert stopped. "Stealing?" He ground out, scowling. "I'm just looking."

The saleslady sneered. "I'm sure you were looking to buy something so far out of your price range."

"Um excuse me, _missy_ -"

"Gilbert! Eight hundred and fifty dollars!" Both the saleswoman and Gilbert turned to see Antonio hobbling along in bright red, Gucci platform heels. But just as Antonio came closer to the two, he took a faulty step and he fell, crashing into a nearby sales rack. When he came back up, his head was decorated by a flashy boa and a nasty bruise.

"Holy shit man!" Gilbert shouted. "You look ridiculous!"

"Yeah but I totally win"

"Excuse me!" The saleslady yelled, getting their attention. "I am going to have to ask you to leave for vulgar language and disruption of peace!"

"What-" Antonio asked, the same time Gilbert protested "But I didn't-"

But the woman wouldn't take any of it. She grabbed Gilbert by the arm and Antonio by his, and all but dragged them out of the store. "And do not come back!"


	3. Water Fountains

**Whoot Whoot, chapter 3! Ah, Roderich's a little creepy in this part, but cut him some slack. Working with Gilbert as a student is hard.**

 **Without further ado, enjoy!**

* * *

Francis watched the proceedings with resigned irritation. He set the tie and vest that he had picked out back on the rack, cursing his friends all the while.

When Francis left the store, he found his best friends messing around in a fountain on the corner. "You're going to get arrested" He drawled, trying to act like he didn't know them.

"Let the cops come! They'll never catch the great Gilbert!"

"Yeah!" Antonio agreed. "Let them come!"

"Fantastic" Francis looked away from his friends when Antonio splashed Gilbert with a face full of water, and Gilbert declared full scale war. Thankfully, they were the only ones on the street, save for one lady dressed up for a day in the city. Francis rolled his eyes. Children played in water fountains, _Men_ flirted.

"Excuse me Miss!" Francis called. "Can I just say you look gorgeous this fine day?" The girl giggled, stopping briefly. "No, really!" He continued. "I don't suppose you were meeting someone, were you?"

"I'm afraid not, monsieur." Oh, she was _french_. Francis could work with this. "Can I help you with something?"

Francis grinned as she moved closer. Her eyes shone like diamonds. "Actually, I was wondering if I could have your number, seeing as I lost mine"

The girl laughed loud, her voice like bells. "I haven't heard that one in a long time! Here," She said, pulling out a small pen. "I'll write it on your hand so you won't forget."

"Forget a pretty face like yours? Hardly" The pen felt cool against his skin, and it was with little effort Francis contorted his hand to grasp hers, leaning down to kiss the fingers presented. "And what could I do for you, madame, to pay this debt?"

"A date perhaps" The woman smiled through her lashes, flirting in a way only women can.

"That I can-" SPLAT

The woman froze. Francis froze. _Everyone_ froze. He could barely registered cold water working it's way to his skin, but he could hyper sense his friends maniacal laughter from behind him.

"Oh my god!" The woman cried. "Are you alright?"

No. Francis was not 'alright'. His limbs slowly unfroze and he turned, righteous fury in his eyes. "Which one of you was it?!"

Antonio and Gilbert both pointed to each other. Antonio at least had the decency to look concerned.

"It's just water" Gilbert defended, but Francis wasn't up for justification.

"I will _kill you_ "

The air seemed to still as blue eyes met red. Francis took a step forward, and Gilbert refused to budge. He wasn't scared of _Francis-_ The blond lunged, tackling Gilbert in a shower of water. They both went down, wrestling in the fountain. Antonio took a few panicked steps away as his two best friends each attempted to murder the other.

"How dare you! My clothes are ruined!"

"Get off of me! I can't breath you son-of-a bitch!"

"Ow! Not the face, not the face!"

Only when fists were brought into the fight did Antonio step in to play peace keeper. "Guys, please don't fight! Guys! GUYS!" Somewhere in the fray, the poor woman who was once so enamored with Francis slowly backed away, quickly removing herself from the scene of the crime.

Gilbert, ever the one to fight dirty, went to hit Francis below the belt. He dodged and knocked him hard in the head. Thankfully, that gave Antonio an opportunity to grab both of them by their shirts. "Guys, I said stop it!"

Francis spit out water and a tooth. "Well he started it-"

"I did _not_ " Gilbert snapped, lunging again.

Antonio was hard pressed to keep them apart, and he almost managed to succeed, before the sirens started. "Oh no" He looked up to see a patrol car racing toward them.

"It's the cops!" Gilbert screeched. "Run!"

Francis and Antonio didn't think twice. Sopping wet, all three jumped from the foundation and ran as if their lives depended on it.

[=]

Roderich was a model citizen. He payed his taxes on time, he didn't look the lower classes in the eye, and sometimes even donated when it looked good. All around a great man. But even he almost couldn't excuse his behavior. Snooping at someone's house? In the mud? His rational thought would be chastising him but at that moment, he was thinking anything but rationally.

That hooligan had to learn his place one way or another.

He had tried the door bell first of course. But oddly enough, all that he received a clear as day message of "contamination, don't come in" every time he tried. He almost turned away, but something about message made him stop. He had heard it somewhere before.

It had then hit him. It was the exact same thing Ron J Torry said in the newest Zombie Outbreak movie. Somehow the little bastard had taken the audio and had it play instead of the doorbell.

Roderich went around to the back door, but it was locked. He jiggled the knob, but jumped as loud yipping interrupted his thoughts.

He peered through the window to see a golden retriever barking madly at him. It was just a little thing, with a cute red ribbon around its neck. Despite himself, Roderich let himself give a small smile. How cute-

"Woof!" Something much bigger barked behind him. Roderich spun around to see the biggest dog he'd ever seen standing there with a slimy, slobbery ball in its mouth. He pressed himself against the door as close as he could.

"Nice doggy, good doggy..."

"Arfoof!" The massive thing responded, dropping the ball and letting it roll toward Roderich.

He almost fainted when the mass of slime touched his nice shoes.

"I'm going to leave now..." Roderich tried, edging away from the hairy beast. The dog moved so it blocked his path. "Out of my way, mutt! I said I'm leaving-"

The nice dog growled, showing its teeth. Quaking with fear, Roderich found himself ridiculously lucky he was still standing. It was then that the heavens smiled down on him, and an idea came to mind.

"You want me to throw the ball?" Roderich whispered. He pulled a hanky from his pocket and leaned down to pick the mess of rubber up. "Go fetch!"

He tried, he really did. But there was a reason his wife wore the pants in their household. The ball soared a whole of two feet before rolling to a stop. The dog looked at him as if to ask where he had learned to throw, but Roderich was already off in a run.

Catch the man proved to be a much better game than ball ever was, and the dog chases Roderich all the way out into the street, down the road, and off into the sunset.

[=]

"... _ah uhhh_... _cantbreathe_... lost them..."

Antonio collapsed into the nearest building, trying to catch his breath. Gilbert hopped around next to him, not even all that tired. He could run a marathon and only need to rest for a few minutes. Endurance was his specialty.

Past digressions behind him, Francis brought up the rear, wringing his shirt out the best he could. He could hear his stomach rumble. "I don't know about you all, but I'm hungry"

"Franny's right, I'm starved." Gilbert said, ignoring the evil glare he received from using Francis' least favorite nickname. "It also might be better to get off the streets. I can't be sure if we really lost that police car"

Antonio dragged himself to his feet. "Can we go into a restaurant wet?" he asked.

The three pondered on that. No respectable place would allow it, that was for sure. The only _real_ solution was to go home and dry off, before coming back. At least, that's what Francis thought. As usual, Gilbert had a plan that went against the current.

"This is so stupid."

"Woo hoo!" Antonio yelled over Francis' disapproving tone. "I'm on top of the world!" He gripped the protective metal of the fan, squinting at the bursts of air. "Turn it up, Gilbert!"

Gilbert, who was fiddling with the control box, muttered, "This is the _only_ time I wish Ludwig was here." He smacked the box once, twice, tree times before the fan blades spun ten fold.

All three friends stood on the roof of the Starlight Hotel, after sneaking in through the front door. Gilbert's original plan was to stand on the edge of the roof and hang off, but even Antonio was apprehensive about that. Fortunately the air conditioning generator, which looked like a giant fan and was close enough to substitute, was close by.

Unable to stand sitting in wet clothes for too long, Francis made quick work of wiggling out of his shirt and pants, hanging them up to dry faster.

"Dude!" Gilbert cut in, stopping him halfway between taking his underwear off. "I have to draw the line somewhere. Have you ever heard of public decency?"

Francis rolled his eyes. "It's not like people are here" Thankfully though, he left his underwear on. Antonio, who didn't appreciate being dripping wet either, started working his way out of his own shirt.

"Let me help you with that" Francis purred, scooting closer to his friend.

"Thanks!" Antonio chirped with a bright smile. "You're really helpful, Franny!"

Gilbert had to avert his eyes when Francis' movements went from friendly to obviously exploiting. He would jump at any chance to undress someone. And not to mention, he didn't even blink at his hated nickname. Antonio could literally push him off the side of the building and he'd forgive it.

A comfortable silence washed over the three. But before long, Antonio just had to break it with the one goddamn question Gilbert didn't want to think about. "Do you guys know what college you're going to?"

"I applied to Newgate" Francis answered, leaning over so he could press against Antonio's shoulder. "It's that one in New York"

Gilbert rolled his eyes. Figures Francis would try for the most pretentious, expensive place he could get his hands on. Was he trying to never see them again? It seemed almost unfair. With all the money his parent's had, Francis could go anywhere he wanted.

"How about you?" Francis asked. "Did you get your acceptance letter for Uni Community College?"

Antonio shook his head. "Not yet, but there's no way they'll reject me too. And Lovino was thinking about going there as well, but I told him to try harder because I know he wants to go to Brown. But get this! He said he didn't want to go somewhere without me _because my family's farm grows t_ _he_ _best tomatoes_! So I told him he could buy some really good ones at the market but he just got mad."

The subject of Antonio's crush, who was, according to him, "the bestest, cutest, most amazing person in the world ever" could literally drag on for the rest of the day. Perhaps to save them from hearing the same conversation once again, Francis directed the topic to Gilbert. "How about you, Gil?"

"High school isn't over yet." Gilbert snapped immediately. He started counting off on his fingers all that's left to do before he could even start thinking about college. "We still have the senior prank, prom, like two pep rallies, the senior trip, all freaking summer-"

"Avoiding your future again, tsk tsk" Francis gave a mock shake of his head, but he seemed serious. "You can't live in the past forever you know"

Gilbert tried not to scowl. "Like you're one to talk. You skip school on this day _every year_. Remind me, who's the one living in the past? It's not like her ghost walks the halls"

He knew he was cutting into some unsafe waters when Francis' eyes flashed angrily. "This isn't about me, mon ami."

There was a fight to be had, but not at that moment. "Fine." Gilbert relented. "I don't have any idea where I want to go or what I want to do." If the future stopped barreling toward him and he stayed in that moment with his two best friends he'd be okay with that.

It wasn't that he wasn't thrilled they had everything in their lives all planned out. He just didn't want to lose them.


	4. New Boy

**Well well well! Can you believe I updated? The problem, I have found, is not to write a story in one long word document and post before you've finished. A special thanks to strongwolf4, who gave me the extra shove to finally post!**

 **I don't know if I promised anyone spamano yet, but let's be real here, there's spamano.**

 **Without further ado, enjoy!**

* * *

"I think our clothes are done drying." Francis said, standing up. He walked to the bundle of clothes.

Sorting them wasn't hard, since all three had their own distinctive fashions. Antonio with his old ratty t-shirt and shorts, Francis with his royal blue sweater, khaki pants, and some kind of vest, and finally Gilbert's red hoodie. He opted to leave his jeans on, _thank you very much_. Not everyone was alright with stripping naked.

"Toss me my hoodie" Gilbert called to Antonio, who ended up with the thing in his hands. He shrugged, throwing the sweatshirt in his direction. But at the same time, the wind picked up, catching the garment on the wind.

All three watched in horror as it gracefully floating it off the side of the building.

Gilbert reacted first, dashing toward the edge to catch the damned thing, his fingers just barely brushing it before it was gone, gone, gone. Francis, thankfully, caught his arm before he threw himself off.

"My hoodie!" Gilbert screamed, watching it fall.

"I am so sorry-" Antonio apologized.

"That was my favorite hoodie!"

Before he could murder anyone, shouting from below caught his attention. Apparently the sweatshirt decided to make things worse and delicately landed on someone's head. Inane curses from the street below indicated that the person was none too happy.

They peered over the ledge.

"Is that-" Francis asked.

"Oh Jesus, I think it is"

"Lovino!" Antonio cheered, waving his hands to try and attract his attention. "Lovi! Look up!"

The brunette raised his head cautiously, before spotting Antonio. He said something none of the trio could catch. The sweatshirt was waved around in his grip.

Antonio waved his hands excitedly. "I can't hear you! I'll be right down" He started running toward the stairs, haphazardly putting on his shorts but refraining from wasting time with his shirt. He took the steps two at a time.

Lovino was waiting impatiently on the street. When he caught sight of a shirtless Antonio however, his face colored and he turned away. "Why the fuck are you half naked?"

"Hm? Oh! My clothes got soaked and I was drying them off." Antono said easily. "Which reminds me, that's Gilbert's sweatshirt. I accidentally threw it off the roof" Lovino raised his eyes to watch Gilbert, who was looking intently at him. He mimicked throwing it into the street to get a rise outta him.

"Are you retards skipping school again?"

Antonio smiled, albeit sheepishly. "Maybe. What about you, shouldn't you be in school too?"

Lovino pointed to the emblem on his sweater. "St. Mary's got out today because it's Good Friday. Usually they don't, but we got a new priest who's a total religious nut."

"Hey, maybe you could hang out with us!" Antonio said. He couldn't hear, but both Francis and Gilbert were making wild booing noises on the roof behind him.

"Is that your subtle way of asking me out?" Lovino asked, a little on the hopeful side.

"What, no! Not at all!" Antonio defended a little too fast.

"Damn, no need to sound so offended." Lovino snapped. "I was just joking"

"Oh" The air around them turned awkward, and Antonio found he didn't know the right thing to say. "We're uh, heading to a fancy restaurant."

Lovino raised an eyebrow. "But it's not a date"

"Do you want it to be?"

A voice from above saved Lovino from replying. "Yo! Antonio, shut the fuck up!" Gilbert was standing on the very edge of the roof, gesturing wildly. "Hurry up and get my hoodie back, it's really cold!"

"Come on," Antonio said, grabbing Lovino by the hand and dragging him toward the building. Thankfully, he didn't realize the effect on the boy, who was steadily turning redder, and soldiered on.

"He is really bringing him along" Francis observed, watching the two from the roof.

Gilbert groaned. "Gross. The last thing I need is unresolved sexual tension"

When Antonio and Lovino arrived, Gilbert made a big deal of snatching back his sweatshirt. Stupid brat, pretending to toss it into traffic. Doesn't he understand how important his hoodie was to him?

Nevermind the fact that Antonio had thrown it off the roof.

"So, kid." Gilbert said, once he was comfortably clothed. "You ready to break the law and make your nuns weep?"

Lovino rolled his eyes. "Drop the bad boy persona, fuckface. I was there when you cried in Bambi, remember?"

"The mother dying was sad as shit, and we had to stop watching because _you_ were crying so hard"

"Boys, boys!" Francis interrupted, stepping between the two. "Gilbert, we had to stop watching because you punched the television. And sweet Lovino, we've got to get along if you're coming with us."

"Should we go to Benny's or that really nice French place?" Antonio asked from the edge of the roof. He was trying to spot all the places they could eat in the city, but his poor eyesight could only see so far.

Francis gasped, as if offended his culture was contended with. "Why is that even a question? La Petite is the obvious choice!"

"Are you seriously asking to choose between the place that has huge pizzas and the place that has _snails_?" Lovino demanded.

"It's your choice then, Gilbert." Antonio said. "Pizza or snails?"

Ignoring Francis' protesting that there was more to French cuisine than snails, Gilbert went with the obvious choice. "Dude, Italian is the best"

"Albino's got a point" Lovino said, nodding to Gilbert.

Gilbert scowled. "Call me an albino one more time and I swear to god-"

"Italian it is!" Antonio cut in, throwing his arm around Lovino's shoulders and easily steering him away. "We just have to get there"

[=]

"I can't believe you lost the car _-_ "

"It's not my fault!" Francis defended. "I know we were parked right outside the shopping center. The only problem is I don't know where that is"

Lovino cast a look at Antonio that said _they can't expect us to walk there_. Antonio shrugged, which was both an answer to his question and a clear indication he had no idea what Lovino was trying to convey.

"Let's split up" Gilbert suggested. "First to find the car wins. Whoever finds it calls the other and we all go to the restaurant safe and sound."

Antonio perked up at the suggestion, which was hard because he was already as perky as humanly possible. "I'm going with Lovino!"

Lovino frowned but didn't protest. Antonio threw his arm around his shoulder, in a very no homo way, and had almost made off down the street with him before Gilbert called them to stop.

"Whoa, hold it mister. No way I'm getting stuck with Francy-pants"

"Your nicknames for me are getting worse and worse" Francis drawled.

Antonio smiled. "Don't be such a spoil sport, Francy-pants"

"Yeah, wouldn't want to get your undies in a twist" Gilbert said.

"If I was wearing any" Francis countered.

"Okay, ew" Lovino said. "I'll count that on a list of things I never needed to hear"

"Can we _please_ get back to finding the car?" Francis asked. "Antonie, that means letting go of Lovino." With a pout, Antonio relinquished his grip, leaving Gilbert free to make new teams.

Gilbert surveyed the three of them. "How about Francis with Lovino and me with Antonio?"

"How about I throw myself off the nearest bridge?" Lovino snapped back.

"How about we ditch the Italian in a sewer and move on with our lives? Ow! No kicking the awesome me! Not cool, not cool at all!"

 _They_ _could be stuck deciding how to split up all day._ Francis thought. He found his eyes wandering as he tried to think of a faster solution. If he could just figure out where they were in relation to the car, then they wouldn't have to go through this ridiculous nonsense. If only there was some kind of marker…Across the street, something caught his eye.

"The fountain!" Francis cheered, drawing attention back to himself. "That's the same one we got caught in!"

"Hey, you're right!" Antonio exclaimed. "So the car is like, two blocks from here!"

Gilbert puffed up his chest in pride. "I told you I'd find it"

"Um, excuse you, but _I_ found it-"

"Yeah, but I was next to you when you found it so it's like I found it too" Antonio added, eager to get a stab at the glory of saving the day.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Gilbert protested. "I'm the one who saved us"

" _Non, je suis!_ "

" _¡Yo soy!_ "

" _Ich bin!_ "

Lovino rolled his eyes, now shouting at each other in their native language. Idiots. It was with little effort he swipped the keys from Francis' bulging pockets and started toward where he thought the car would be. He'd do anything so long as he didn't have to hear their inane bickering anymore.

By the time they noticed he was gone, Lovino had climbed into the driver's seat and was fixing his hair in the rearview mirror.

"Took you bastards long enough"

"Out of the driver's seat, _petite cher_ " Francis said, tapping him on the head. "Children aren't to drive"

He received a nasty scowl, but nonetheless the spot was vaccinated as Lovino went to join Antonio in the backseat. "Next stop, pizza!"

Tall buildings and packs of pedestrians lined the streets, giving off the big city feel. The traffic was thankfully light, as it was a work and school day, but it still took longer than expected to pull up to the restaurant.

"You three go in" Francis said. "I'll park the car"

Antonio clamored out of the backseat, followed by Lovino. Gilbert decided using the door was beneath him and instead jumped over the side of the car. Unfortunately his foot was caught and he ended up sprawled across the pavement.

"Are you alright?" Antonio gasped, helping his friend up and trying not to laugh.

"I'd be better if your boyfriend stopped laughing at me" Gilbert snapped. They both looked at Lovino, who was beside himself with giggles. Antonio's face heated up. Lovino was heart-stopping adorable, and the way his face seemed to light up when he smiled-

"Oh my fucking god, you looked so stupid!" Lovino gasped out between peals of laughter. "Oh, that was hilarious."

"You shut your bitch mouth" Gilbert snarled before he brushed past him and headed inside. The hostess looked up at his sudden entrance. "Table for three"

"It's four" Lovino corrected, trailing him inside.

"I was actually going to let you sit on the floor- Ow! Antonio, tell him to stop kicking me"

Lovino scowled. "Tell him to stop being such an asshole"

"Aha, guys please don't fight..."

The hostess led them away, looking worried.

Despite Antonio's worst fears, the idea of food seemed to calm everyone down and there were no more arguments after they were all seated. He was glad. It was nice to have Lovino get along with everyone, even if it was so rare.

It was then that Francis appeared, blustering in with his hair undone and his eyebrows contorted in worry.

"What happened?" Gilbert asked first.

"You would not believe who I just saw up the street"

"The president?" Antonio suggested.

Gilbert smirked. "Was it your long lost girlfriend?"

The comment struck a cord deep inside Francis, who couldn't help but freeze at his friend's harsh remark. Antonio frowned. "Hey, not funny"

"What?" Gilbert asked, honestly confused.

"It was Roderich" Francis explained, trying to keep his head on track. It was funny, with all the fun he had that morning, he almost forgot what day it was. "He's headed this way but I don't think he saw me. Regardless, we should probably go. Like _now_ "

Lovino stood up. "I'll go distract him"

"Whoa!" Gilbert said, straightening up. "You'd do that for _us?_ "

The look he received could have increased global warming by fifteen percent. "Not for _you_ " Lovino snapped. His eyes darted to Antonio before his face heated up and he marched away, muttering about idiots and tomato bastards.


	5. Uptown Funk

**I'm back! Again! And Elizaveta finally makes an official appearance.**

 **Which means... pruhun eventually! Forewarning: At the end is some lyrics of "Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars. I mean, it's a total BTT song.**

 **Ahaha, I hope the next chapter doesn't take so long to update! But in the meantime, thank you all for your reviews and favorites and follows! :D Y'all are awesome I stg**

* * *

Roderich took a deep breath. He had lost the dog an hour ago, when he had entered the school parking lot and climbed onto his car to get away. But after his ordeal, he had no desire to go back to work again.

There was a little shop in the city that served the best calming tea. In times of great distress, Roderich would go there and simply take in the atmosphere. Soft sounds of piano would play in the background and he would always feel at peace.

Feeling his heart hammer in his chest from over exhaustion, Roderich entered the building. Calm was what he needed.

Little did he know that somewhere on the way in he had acquired a shadow.

Lovino slid his sunglass a little further down his face. Jesus, it was so dark. He could hardly see. He silently trailed his target and slid into the booth behind him.

"Excuse me, miss!" Roderich called, signaling the waitress. She turned to him. "Your strongest coffee please"

Lovino mirrored him with a slight raise of the arm. The waitress made her way to his table. "And for you?"

He pointed to the menu, not saying anything

"What did you want dear?" She said, a little loud. Lovino made frantic hand gesturing to signal that he was undercover. It clearly didn't make much sense because the girl simply raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, kiddo. I don't speak ASL. Hey wait a second… I know you!"

Lovino shook his head a little too late. The girl was grinning excitedly. "Oh my god, I do! Lovino Vargas! Wow, long time no see, squirt!"

To be honest, Lovino almost didn't recognize her. The last time he saw Elizaveta, she was always covered in dirt and kept her hair short. But now that he looked, he could tell she looked just as she did. The same long nose and green eyes. She smiled down at him, clearly enjoying her growth spurt that gave her at least four inches on him.

Lovino opened and closed his mouth, trying to figure out what to say. "Hi" He finally settled on.

Elizaveta dropped into the seat across from him. "So how's my little firecracker these days? You like your little private school? Who are you stalking this fine afternoon?"

"I'm not stalking anyone" Lovino defended, his face red. "I got the day off so I thought I'd just hang around town. You know, see the sights"

"In sunglasses?" Elizaveta asked. "Seems a little sketchy to me"

"…it's bright out"

"It's not Antonio, is it?" She twisted around to scope out the restaurant. "Because I heard he's totally got a humungos crush on someone. Gilbert won't tell me who though."

Lovino froze. "He- a crush?"

"Yeah man. I can tell it's _baaad_. But enough about that. I can help you out if you let me in on the details."

Confliction flared up in Lovino. For one, he didn't want to hang around Elizaveta anymore than he had to. He a mission to complete _goddamn it_. But on the other hand, she knew something about Antonio...

"Okay" Lovino whispered, leaning forward. "I'm trying to keep an eye on the guy in front of us. Antonio and his stupid friends are skipping and they can't exactly be caught, so I offered to scare him off if worst comes to worst."

Elizaveta turned to see, ignoring Lovino's insistent " _don't look"_ s

"Oh, hey that's the admission counselor"

"Well, yeah."

"I have a plan" Elizaveta said, with a borderline evil smirk. "And I think it's just the kind of thing you need to get him out of the city"

[=]

Roderich had been sitting for almost half an hour before his waitress returned.

"What on _earth_ is with the service today? I swear-"

"Here's your gourmet bacon and swiss omelette, complete with the most expensive espresso we own"

Roderich's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. "Gourmet? Bacon? _Expensive_? Excuse me, miss, but I only ordered a water-"

"Oh no no worries, it's delicious, promise"

The brunette starred in half shock as the greasiest sandwich slide in front of him. It sizzled and popped, and Roderich swore it moved. "Um-"

He was distracted as the espresso was brought into his vision. Were those _gold flakes?_

"I'll get the bill straight away"

The waitress disappeared, and Roderich tried to edge away from the meal in front of him. He was going to talk to the manager as soon as he was able. But at least for the time being, he could hear the soothing piano. The always present music helped calm his nerves.

What a beautiful melody. An unappreciated piece really, one that brought tears to his- _twang_

What was that?

Roderich opened his eyes to the musician standing up in shock. A string on the piano had been loosened, and just like that the note fell flat.

Oh no. Note the music. Roderich knew for a fact that it took hours to properly retune a piano and he was not going to wait long with his still sizzling sandwich and the crying of his bank account. He grabbed the check from the waitress as soon as she appeared and went to find the manager and straighten everything out.

And then he was going _straight home_

As Roderich stormed away, he failed to notice two pairs of eyes watching him from a side booth.

"Am I genius or what?" Elizaveta giggled to Lovino.

"Holy shit, how did you know that would work?" Lovino asked, shocked at her mastery. "You'd have to personally know the guy or something."

Elizaveta smiled. "Well, he is a family friend. And he's super fun to mess with. A hope he didn't actually look at the price, his eyes might've fallen out of his head"

"Won't you get fired for something like this?"

She shrugged. "Nah, the manager's cool." Elizaveta stood up and pulled Lovino to her feet with her. "Now you said Gilbo and the dolts are around, right? Let's go catch up with them"

[=]

"First cops, now Roderich. Gilbert, are you trying to get us killed?" Francis snapped. They were currently hiding out behind Benny's, crouched behind a dumpster.

The teen in question shrugged. "I just want to give us a little edge to the rest of those losers we call peers"

Antonio edged a little further away from the garbage. "It wouldn't be a crime to be _as_ cool as them"

"Yes it would!" Gilbert yelled, before quickly being shushed. "Whatever. He's probably gone now. Let's get out of here"

They stood up awkwardly. "We need a better hiding place next time." Francis said. "If Arthur heard that I hide behind a trash can, I'd never hear the end of it"

To the street was a close walk, and soon the trio found themselves on the side of the road. For whatever reason, it was packed. Crowds of people jostled them left and right, flags and streamers were waving, blocking the view of whatever was passing through.

"What the fuck?" Gilbert shouted. "Is a circus passing through?"

Antonio, who had somehow managed to weave his way through the crowd, saw the passing floats first. "Not the circus!" He exclaimed. "It's a parade!"

Francis and Gilbert exchanged a shit eating grin. What would be better than getting themselves into a parade and becoming the center of attention? Antonio barely had time to yelp as they grabbed his arms and hauled him through the crowd.

"Which float looks vulnerable for an overtaking?" Francis mused, looking the competition up and down.

"I don't care." Gilbert said. "I just want one with a speaker system." He vaulted over the gate designed to keep the public at bay when something caught his eye.

It was a giant, yellow barge. Quite ugly, and covered with glitter. There was a drag queen on top, waving at the crowd and speaking sweet Polish into their microphone. Gilbert didn't even have to think as he darted toward it. Perfecto.

Someone tried to stop him, but Gilbert merely danced out of his grip, knocking the long haired brunette off the float. He landed on a passing band member, disrupting the procession.

Francis and Antonio had his back, scaling the sides of the float until the stood surrounding the poor blond singer in triangle formation.

"Like, hey! You can't be here!" The drag queen snapped, hiking up his dress with a scowl. "Authorized per-son-el _only_ "

"We're really sorry" Antonio apologized. "We really mean no harm-"

Gilbert cut him off. "Psh, speak for yourself. This is a takeover, bitch. Hand over the microphone!"

" _Never_ " He whispered, clutching it to his chest.

A set of red eyes narrowed, before Gilbert tackled the drag queen in a desperate lunge for the prize. They both went tumbling down the side of the float.

"Oh man" Antonio whispered, watching them tussle on the asphalt.

Francis raised an eyebrow at the scuffle. "Ten bucks say Gil loses"

But before Antonio could place any bets, Gilbert stood up triumphantly with the microphone in his fist. The resounding static had the crowd covering their ears in pain, but he refused to the sound affect his grand speech.

"Hallo, adoring subjects!"

The crowd made vague noises of acknowledgement, but Gilbert took it as a good sign.

"Anyway, I've come to grace you all with my awesome presence. The name is Gilbert, and I'll be singing a little song for you all."

Francis caught onto his train of thought, and pulled out his iphone to start the music. Within seconds, the deep, resounding beat began to play.

" _Doh doh doh, doh doh doh…"_

Antonio got into it, clapping along. " _Doh doh doh…"_

Gilbert gave a wicked grin, before clamoring back onto the float. "all right!"

" _This hit, that ice cold_ _  
_ _Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold_ _  
_ _This one for them hood girls_ _  
_ _Them good girls straight masterpieces_ _  
_ _Stylin', whilen, livin' it up in the city_ _  
_ _Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent_ _  
_ _Got kiss myself, I'm so pretty_ "

Francis sent a kiss to the crowd, watching as girls jumped the catch it before falling back dramatically. The cheers drove him on, giving him a reason to smile. He swung around Gilbert, singing into the microphone the parts he loved the most.

" _I'm too hot (hot damn)_ _  
_ _Called a police and a fireman_ _  
_ _I'm too hot (hot damn)_ _  
_ _Make a dragon wanna retire man_ _  
_ _I'm too hot (hot damn)_ _  
_ _Say my name you know who I am_ _  
_ _I'm too hot (hot damn)_ _  
_ _Am I bad 'bout that money, break it down_ "

Aggressively repeating hot damn, Antonio found himself shaking his hips and dancing along to the beat. He loved the fast pacing of the music, the cheering of the crowd, the excitement of being with his best friends. He wouldn't change it for the world.

" _Girls hit your hallelujah (whuoo) (x2)  
'Cause Bad Touch Trio gon' give it to you (x3)  
Saturday night and we in the spot  
Don't believe me just watch (come on)  
Don't believe me just watch (x3)  
Hey, hey, hey, oh!"_

By now, the crowd was singing along with them. It was a popular song for sure, and Gilbert found that the encouragement was quickly going to his head. He needed to start a band- no, get labeled by a record company. He scanned his crowd of adoring fans with a grin. This was everything he wanted.

" _Girls hit your hallelujah (whuoo) (x2)  
'Cause Bad Touch Trio gon' give it to you (x3)  
Saturday night and we in the spot  
Don't believe me just watch (come on)  
Don't believe me just watch (x3)  
Hey, hey, hey, oh!"_

The stereo systems blasted as the floats paraded down main street, and Gilbert, Francis, and Antonio had the time of their lives dancing it up on their hijacked float. The crowd was singing along, entranced. By the time the trio had hopped the float and bid their goodbyes, no one had the right oh mind to pursue them.


End file.
